But refusing to participate in the arguments and the anxiety spirals by hanging up and walking out saved my relationship with both my parents in the long-term. (As a sidenote: my mom has been able to do with with my dad a few times when her travel schedule gets crazy. And my husband has two business trips of at least four days each in the next two months and Im rather thrilled. And voila- you're on the coast! I wanted to get tickets for a show, but it was sold out. I also dont think cultural relativity is relevant when OP is clearly uncomfortable with his behaviour. A pregnant woman recently asked the internet for advice after her husband refused to attend any of their doctor appointments. Id dump him. They always ended up going to what one of them called armpit towns. Even if they went someplace cool, they rarely had time to do anything ever. Maybe you set a boundary about content, and tell him you only want to talk about good stuff while youre goneI love you, cant wait to see you is OK, Im so worried youll get drugged, raped, and murdered is too much to put on you while youre focusing on work. I dont think that would help the situation, however. She takes trips with friends, or solo, a few times a year. And my husband was completely fine with it. $60/night + $30/night resort fee, and $30 worth of groceries for the week kept me out of the pricey restaurants. Its often fine to bring spouses on work trips, but I definitely think she shouldnt bring him in this situation. Theyre both really worst-case-scenarios and things that happen *to* the OP. The most important part of travelling alone is that your lover is on the same page as you. I think if OPs husband was acting reasonably, this would be a good solution. Its like Captain Awkward says no matter why youre standing on my foot, you need to stop standing on my foot. You can get really great meals there. And (2) hes not paranoid, controlling or insecure. Her hotel room was amazing, and Im pretty sure it had a little museum in that hotel too. Your stops will be longer because you'll have to take the baby out of the carseat for a little bit. What is wrong with people? Its not really a fun place to go for work. One learns to cope AT&T helps, also. Its hot and windy and dry and sand gets every where. From the outside, his train of thought is totally irrational. But yes, OP, this does smell of jealousy. That shows lack of trust in me, and thats no bueno. Everyone except family becomes a drunk driving human trafficker after sunset. If this resonates with you, OP, about your husbands behavior, something important to know is that there is no appeasing this line of thinking. One casino is the same as another, the food isnt as good as it once was (you have to go off-strip for the REALLY good stuff), and its crazy expensive. I dont understand giving up agency as an adult just because I got married. But because a good counselor will see that there is no point and dismiss the couple. Last but not least, take some time for yourself. I understand where youre coming from, but even if this is exclusively his issue, joint therapy sessions can help each partner understand the others perspective. The biggest crime Ive personally witnessed is the outrageous price of food. Vegas and Orlando are excellent places for corporate retreats because theyre relatively cheap to fly to and theyre set up for this kind of thing. Vegas is not somewhere Id vacation, but conferences there are very smooth and convenient. Irrational fears are just a normal part of life, especially in these days of social media and around-the-clock news coverage, but when they either start holding you back from doing things you want/need to do or start negatively affecting the people in your life, thats a sign youve stepped over the line of normal and should seek help finding that line again. We live in an at-will dating society, where either party can end the relationship at any time, with or without cause and with or without notice. If its an issue that they dont trust OP, that probably needs counseling. And at the end of the day, it doesnt matter because every time, its about something that doesnt really have a right or wrong answer. I agree. If you ever felt something was wrong you can tell a bartender, a waiter, a cop, that you need some help. I had no other work pending and a ton of free time, so what did I do? I can completely see how people who watched the sensational crime shows can imagine the world is terrifying, BUT its TV, *not* real life. I wouldnt be surprised if he straight-up made that up in order to lend credence to his argument. But I come from a history of super-controlling domestic abuse situations, so Ive seen this behavior more times than Id care to admit. The following photos show exactly what can go wrong when you try to take a family photo. It can be challenging to know when to kind of cater to her anxiety (she is able to relax much better if I check the door locks before bed than if she does it, so I do it but never more than once a night), and when to decide that her worry about a particular issue has passed the point where I can be supportive and is just on her to manage (I refuse to provide reassurance for a 7th round of what if this offhand comment I made at work was overheard by the wrong person and totally misinterpreted and I get fired and then I cant find another job and then we lose the house?). Congratulations, his friends are ALSO sexist and manipulative. Feel free to point out where I did that. If hes of the mind that the husband should be the breadwinner then it sounds like insecurity about his own career. I think youre right, but I think just as often people jump to an abuse/controlling scenario when it involves a relationship. OP, how long do you think you can tolerate his behavior? Im so glad I made that choice. Ehhh, I actually dont see so much wrong with friends weighing in on aspects of ones relationship when a friend comes to me and says, This is something thats happening in my relationship, would you call that problematic? I definitely dont say, Its none of my business! I give them my read of the situation, just as they do for me. Agreed! husband doesn t want to go on family vacationguinness irish stew slow cooker. Can you cut it out, or find someone else to talk to about your worry?. This isnt about Las Vegas or about you or even about your jobits that he wants to control you, and any threat to his perception that he doesnt have complete control over you is going to end in a tantrum. Other than that, we gambled, we ate a lot, we walked a lot, saw a lot of family-oriented and kid-oriented activities swam in the hotels outdoor pool. For work. At work? Just in case. Hes watched too many college Spring Break movies, right? Dont get hit by a car!! Ive done that before too, and it was invaluable in setting healthy boundaries in a sane, functional manner. Good for you,OP, for asking how to deal with a difficult situation. Actually if you go off the Strip theres quite a few things to see and do around Vegas (also non-gambler here), desert hikes, assorted museums (notably neon art & the mob), and my personal favorite the Pinball Hall of Fame which has 100+ playable pinball machines (old and new). I do think its a leap to assume the husbands anxiety is the kind you get in GAD, but basically the comments are full of armchair diagnoses and I was exasperated. Right now hes in Alaska shooting a documentary. A city with a lot of hotels and legalized gambling, but it also has residential neighborhoods, malls, schools, etc. Op, your husband is out of line and sounds very insecure. Pressuring/guilting him into not going? I used the work on policy areas around crime, and in the UK, people places with low crime rates have a much higher fear of crime than people from high crime areas. Yup, agreed. And the shopping! Yeah theres a mosque and an Islamic centre, but Ive been into both for visit my mosque day and the imam was happy to talk to me (a white non-religious woman) and everyone was very nice and gave us snacks, so yeah. And theres more but I here these comments and the whole story wasnt told. It IS super pricey though!! Spend the whole day 10+ hours (for me) at the Bath House in Mandalay Bay. Flying might be easier. Nikada / iStock. He made her upset the entire trip last time. Youre in a room all day, you still have to get up and WORK the next morning I go to one every year, and my butt is in bed at 10pm. I say go for it! Who was the genius with the idea to build a tourist trap in a desert? CES, the Consumer Electronics Show is held there yearly, and is a massive tech conference, millions of square feet of conference space. That said, Id say go on the trip, because I dont think you should pander to his lack of trust in you. I guess it's doable, but I wouldn't do it. He called to tell me he won a bunch of money at Black Jack and was getting free drinks. If your husband wont go to counseling, go alone. Ultimately I did choose my career over my marriage and now Im in the the middle of a divorce because of it. And I asked to go but thats out of the question. I have the same problem and have since I was a child. But honestly? Right on the top!! I sometimes know and I often dont. By contrast, I spent a week this summer at a conference in a not-doing-so-well midwestern city. Is she free to travel then? He might have a collection of like-minded friends who really would agree with him. So all the brothel skits on Reno 911 were a lie? Post author By ; impossible burger font Post date July 1, 2022; southern california hunting dog training . My husband has been for business conferences. If it's something you really want to do, then I'm sure you can make it work, but it won't be easy. One of my favorite Dan Savage letters was about whether they were broken up (his former girlfriends opinion) or not broken up (his preference, because it would mean he had to start dating again and who wants that bother?). Same. apply jobappnetwork com elior; farmington, ct homes for sale by owner If he refuses because everyone who goes to Vegas becomes adulterous instantly and HE doesnt want that to happen to HIM then you have a completely different issue from he refuses to let her go at all because He Said So. Youre five minutes late? If I ask him he will clarify but I trust him and dont need to worry. If your husband is really giving you a choice between staying married to him and going on a business trip, the answer may be difficult to face, but hes giving you a clear choice: You can live your life on his terms, with the threat of divorce hanging over your head if you participate in public and professional life in a way that displeases him, or live your life on your terms.